Sunday 20 April

Bits and Pieces.


Mon 21 Apr – Bruschetta for lunch today! [click] for recipe.



Yes, there really is a village called “Twatt”, and believe it or not, Finstown and Kirkwall too! Twatt is a small settlement on the mainland of the Orkney Islands, Scotland. It was previously the location of a RNAS airfield, HMS Tern. Not a lot of people know that!
Actually twatt, with one T, is an old Anglo-Saxon word meaning someone who was a bit simple, stupid if you like, i.e., the village idiot. Like the word “gay” the word “twatt” has a new meaning these days, but we wont go into that. We have a few idiots running the country. That old word describes them very well.


Why do shops, magazines, newspapers,leaflets and all the rubbish that drops through the letterbox (‘mailbox’ in the Colonies) always state something like “Buy one NOW, and get your FREE gift”? I thought that all gifts were free anyway, that’s the general idea. Thinking about it, most of these so-called ‘free gifts’ are not. If you have to spend over £40 or something to get your ‘free gift’ then it’s not free is it? Especially when the vendor has increased the price of the product to cover the cost of the ‘free gift’.
It’s like being arrested for carrying or using ‘an offensive weapon’. Let’s face it, ALL weapons are offensive, that’s what they are made for.


A friend went into a hardware store recently and asked the foreign looking owner if he had any large grommets. The shopkeeper looked puzzled and said “I’m sorry, but I am not understanding what you mean”. So my friend explained that they are round thingys made of rubber, or even plastic, that you insert into a hole to protect whatever you push through to make sure that it doesn’t get chaffed or cut.
He came out with a packet of condoms. You knew that was coming didn’t you?



Due to the current outbreak of Man Flu it is more important than ever to wash your hands at least once a week – it won’t hurt you.
Buy some Dettol sheets and wipe down the doorknobs, phones, toilet and light switches each night.

Just saying . . . . . .