I know it’s hard to resist dwelling on the past. I am tempted at times to dwell on the past because in my younger days life seemed so difficult. I made bad decisions that affected the family and the people around me that I professed to love but who I treated disgracefully. There isn’t anything I can do now to wipe the slate clean. What I have done is to resolve not to make such bad decisions again.
After my divorce I had to move on and start a new life. I met a lovely Irish lady, Pat, and we hit it off immediately. This time I changed my outlook on life and made a conscious decision to make this relationship work by following the Quaker code of living, as she did. Life was great with Pat, and I appreciate the memories of those 11 years we spent together, being with Pat and sharing our lives together to me was the best time of my life. Unfortunately Pat died 13 years ago, and I had a hard time of coming to terms with it, but I must not hanker for those times and have moved on.
I try to see the past as a separate room from the one I live in now. I can go there, but I don’t live there anymore.
I now leave a little space for myself each day. What do I do with that time? Answer; absolutely nothing! This is a little space just for me (me-time), a breather, a time to sit still and do nothing. Just breathe. I sit there for about 15 minutes, not thinking, not doing, not worrying, just ‘being’ while I meditate on the pleasure of being alive.