This is so true, as I have found out to my dismay since coming to live on this planet. True friends I do not have, but I seem to attract false friends by the ship load!
I am not including my cyber friends on the net, God knows they would be there for me if they could, I mean the so-called 'friends' in the real world who shy away when I need them.
When I was a young man old people at weddings used to poke me and say "You're next!". That is until I went to a funeral and poked them back saying the same thing.
Whenever some one calls me an ugly old git I get really sad and give them a big hug, because I know life can be tough for the visually impaired.
Seriously, I don't know exactly when that UFO landed and dumped all these stupid people around me, but apparently they are not coming back for them.
Making faces at babies.
Doing "mouth farts" in the cinema.
Crayoning in library books.
Annoying the neighbours.
Throwing stones at the ducks.
Scrounging drinks at the pub.
Staring at people.
Burning old tyres.
Being a burden to the kids.
Driving slowly on the motorway.
Pretending to be deaf.
Stealing sweets off children.
Kicking empty tins about.
Hiding the cats food.
Shouting at the pigeons.
Finding naughty people and grassing them up to the police.