My old ironing board is getting a bit like me now; unstable, rickety and falling apart (Yes, I do iron my clothes; better than any woman!). So off I went to the local shops to buy one. I looked everywhere for a decent one but they all didn’t seem very well made or had the right shaped pointy end for ironing shirts properly. Another fault was that they were all designed for midgets or a woman (Boy, am I digging my own grave or what?)

I sat and wondered where on earth could I find a good sturdy one that, most importantly, was designed for a tall man (ironing board that is, not a woman; heaven forbid!). I say that because I get shoulder-ache trying to use a “woman size” one (There I go again. I’m only making it worse for myself, innit?). None of the ones I looked at were tall enough, even on the highest setting.

Flash of inspiration! I would look on t’Internet for instructions on how to make one. Brilliant!

The first site I encounted gave very concise instructions; no drawings or ingredients, but let me show you the instructions here:

Step 1
Construct the top of your ironing board. The flat surface on which you iron should be made out of a durable material that will not melt. Medium density fiberboard (a wood product) is a hefty, but wise choice.

Step 2
Legs for your ironing board. Legs can be made with a variety of materials: wood, metal or anything else your heart desires.

Step 3
Attach the legs with screws. This process is as simple as picking out screws of a length that will securely hold them to the flat ironing surface. Drill through the top of the ironing surface and into the legs to safely secure them.

Step 4
Protect the top of your ironing board by wrapping it in Bacofoil. The foil will protect the wood of your board and also provide a reflective surface to help make your ironing perfect.

Step 5
Cover your ironing board. By using a pre-made ironing board cover as a pattern, you can choose any style and color of fabric that you like to personalize your ironing board. If you make several you’ll never have to worry about being caught without a clean cover. Dark colors work well to mask scorch marks that might occur over time. (Scorch marks not a problem, sweety, I never burn anything -Keith.)

Have fun!

True, thats all it gives. Anyway onward and upward to the next likely looking site.

The next one was unbelieveable. I though it was a Monty Python page, but no, it was perfectly genuine but you would have needed the loan of a shipyard to build it. First up was the material list:

• sheet of medium density fiberboard (can be substituted with a flat metal sheet)
• 4 thick metal rods
• sheet of iron (eh?)
• mechanical heavy-duty drill
• 2 metal nuts
• 2 metal bolts (Oh, so wooden ones are no good then?)
• 6 short nails
• hammer
• handsaw
• sandpaper
• thick foil
• welding equipment (I don’t believe it!)

Well, I haven’t got any sandpaper so that one is ruled out for starters.

Honestly, this the truth. May my socks rot and a plague of locousts enter my tent if I’m telling lies.

By now I was getting a teensy-weensy bit frustrated until I stumbled across this video:

My problem is solved. Now all I need is a barrowload of money to buy it.

I could fix it to the wall in the loo (toilet, for my readers in the Colonies), and in the mornings I could do two jobs at the same time; sitting down as well! No more aching shoulders. . .