I want to tell you about a very special plant in my herb-garden, and it’s uses. It seems that not many people know about it in this day and age, although it was very popular in Roman and mediaeval times … Continue reading →
When I was a young man old people at weddings used to poke me and say "You're next!". That is until I went to a funeral and poked them back saying the same thing.
Whenever some one calls me an ugly old git I get really sad and give them a big hug, because I know life can be tough for the visually impaired.
Seriously, I don't know exactly when that UFO landed and dumped all these stupid people around me, but apparently they are not coming back for them.
Making faces at babies.
Doing "mouth farts" in the cinema.
Crayoning in library books.
Annoying the neighbours.
Throwing stones at the ducks.
Scrounging drinks at the pub.
Staring at people.
Burning old tyres.
Being a burden to the kids.
Driving slowly on the motorway.
Pretending to be deaf.
Stealing sweets off children.
Kicking empty tins about.
Hiding the cats food.
Shouting at the pigeons.
Finding naughty people and grassing them up to the police.