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May 15, 2011
Filed Under (Uncategorized) by Keith on 15-05-2011
After my last post (10 April. Bloody hell! Has it been that long? I’ve had a birthday since then) I did a big think, and I’ve come to the conclusion that doing political stuff and generally ranting about the state of the country isn’t going to change anything, so why bother? We’ll all bloody doomed anyway. When I shop in Leicester I don’t know whether I’m in India, Pakistan, or Poland now. The local rag stated that Leicester is now nearly “55% ethnic minority”, er. . . when I was at school, which was a very long time ago, we were taught that anything over 50% was a “majority”. Nowadays I do my shopping on t’internet. Last night in the local sports club the discussion turned to microwave and combination cookers. Sid, the local dim-wit, stated that “They are no f***ing good. I tried to boil an egg in a bowl of water and the effing thing just exploded and coated the inside of the microwave with a sticky mess of yolk, eggshell and water!” “You did it all wrong” I said in a loud voice, “It always works for me. Be sure to coat the egg with a layer of butter, or even yoghurt. This dissipates the energy waves evenly over the surface of the egg and heats it up evenly; and to prevent the water from slashing over the sides of the bowl just put a handful of oats in with the egg. Make sure that you switch to full-power and give it at least four minutes. Simpules! Can’t fail”. Everybody at the bar who heard this confirmed that it was the right way to do it. Old Jim said “My wife always does it that way, same as my grandma did during the war when you couldn’t get eggs”. I think we all convinced him that was the right way to do it. Poor Sid didn’t appear to realise that we were having him on. “OK, chaps I’ll give it a go like you said the next time I have an egg”. I can’t wait until I see him again, although I probably won’t see much of anything for a few days afterwards on account of the swelling around my eyes! Update: (22 May) If you read the post above this one you will realise why I added the last paragraph. It was to throw a certain pub landlord off the scent, because I know he reads my blog.
11 Comments posted on "Well, I did think and now I’ve got a headache."
Comments:
Zoe on May 15th, 2011 at 4:54 pm #
I’m glad that you’re back – I’d have been sad if you’d gone totally. I can’t wait to hear if Sid fell for your prank – you obviously haven’t got any nicer with age. A happy belated birthday, Grumps! ========================================================= Zoe, Nice to see you back too, and I would have been even sadder to think that you had gone forever. I’ve updated the link on my sidebar to your new page. I wont know if Sid tried my suggestion until Thursday when I next go to the club. -Keith
Betsy on May 15th, 2011 at 7:41 pm #
Well, happy birthday! Did you bake yourself a cake? Hope it was a nice day. Welcome back to blogging. Yes, there are much more fun things to rant about that the state of our countries and it just gets us all worked up for nothing. =========================================================
Toffeeapple on May 16th, 2011 at 4:01 pm #
Ah good, you are back. I hope you had a happy birthday – with cake. Poor old Sid he’ll never clean that mess off the oven. =========================================================
helen on May 16th, 2011 at 4:10 pm #
Happy birthday Keith, it’s lovely to have you back. You are a rotten lot, poor Sid, =========================================================
Kevin 'In Salford' on May 16th, 2011 at 9:12 pm #
And there was me thinking that everyone knew that the only way to boil an egg in the microwave is to remove the shell first! Errrr, well actually it’s not the shell that’s the problem as that’s porous, no it’s the membranes underneath that inflate like a balloon and burst – I found that out many years ago by silly experimentation one drunken evening with some mates trying to cook microwaved bacon and eggs. The bacon was perfect, but the eggs…..? It took hours to clean out the microwave oven the next day! Anyway! Good to see another update, and I hope you will continue – even if infrequently. In fact I’ve recently added a couple more updates to my own site since you last viewed it, and have at least one more in mind – when I get the time! How’s LinkedIn going? Oh, and belated birthday greetings!! ========================================================= I would like to get ‘personal cloud computing’ however so that I can run Photoshop6 on Linux (I ditched Windows a long while ago, it’s crap!). Sorry, I haven’t checked your site lately – I thought you were away with the fairies ( the winged type I mean!) never to be seen again! -Keith.
Justin on May 17th, 2011 at 7:50 am #
Good to see you’re still around, Keith … Happy Birthday from me too. ========================================================= I cook scrambled egg in the microwave, it’s so much better than in a pan as you say. Fer C’s sake, don’t try the way I told Sid to cook a boiled egg unless you are quite taken with the idea of scraping butter and egg flavoured porridge from the inside of the microwave! -Keith
Pat on May 17th, 2011 at 11:03 am #
I’m glad you made the right decision. Just kidding! =========================================================
sue on May 19th, 2011 at 11:55 pm #
Good to see your commentary back. =========================================================
Sharon J on May 21st, 2011 at 10:19 am #
This is my first visit here and as you’ve made me laugh already, I can safely say that it won’t be the last. I do hope the bruising won’t be too bad ========================================================= I just took the opportunity to read your page and I was really impressed with your other page, ‘Being Paul’s Mum’. I have put a link to it for my other fans to read, I hope you don’t mind.
guyana gyal on May 22nd, 2011 at 3:13 am #
Happy belated bir’day, you wicked ol’ feller you. Good to see your sense of humour is intact. I can’t wait to hear what Sid does to you lot.
Sharon J on May 27th, 2011 at 5:30 pm #
Thanks for linking to my blog, Keith. Am glad you liked it Post a comment
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Here are a few facts, which might help you decide if you've had the unfortunate experience of meeting me in real life or not ... I am 75 going on 30, divorced and available. I enjoy French cooking, drinking lots of wine, (French of course!) and holidaying in France (on a pittance, I might add!). I also have a passion for amateur radio and electronics. I design and make stained glass windows now purely as a hobby (It used to be my trade until I retired). My other interests are archery and French boule; playing Petanque with friends and a nice bottle of vin rouge on the side.
