I posted the following last November on a different blog and I’m repeating it now because the bustard has struck again! He did my cousin for the SAME OFFENCE yesterday in a “copy-cat” situation. Unbelievable! She is not the worlds greatest car-parker (is any woman?) and rear of the car was slightly over the line.

Hitler is alive and well, and is now employed as a Car Park Attendant in our little town.

A few weeks ago one of my many friends said he was going into town to do some shopping and would I like to accompany him. I had some library books to change and I needed some bits and pieces myself so I said yes.

It wasn’t a particularly busy day in town so there was oodles of room to park. Another reason there was plenty of room is the fact that Hinckley as a town is dying because of the greed of the local Council, (car parking charges recently increased) and the business rates on the shops also increased. Consequently as the shops are closing down (3 this week) people are now going to the nearby towns to shop. But I digress….

We parked the car, paid the exorbitant fee required, and displayed the ticket in the windscreen as requested ordered by the Council notice and made our way into town. After completing our business we went into a local hostelry for a beer and a bun.

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We returned to the car with half an hour left on the ticket, but to our surprise there was a ticket on the windscreen stating that we had committed a “Violation”!

Our car is the red Peugeot in the centre of the picture. Apparently we had inadvertently parked with one wheel over the line of the parking bay and had picked up a £50 fine!

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Sure enough when I looked closely at the notice board I could see quite clearly that we had committed a dastardly crime! If the car park had been full and we were preventing someone else from parking in the next bay I could understand it, but look at the car park . . . practically empty; so what did it matter if we had parked a bit over the line? This is bureaucracy gone mad! Haven’t the peasants the that Council employ got any brains and common sense? Perhaps they have their orders and must “obey orders at all times”

As you can imagine, we were hopping mad and set out to find this little jumped-up Hitler but he had vanished back into his bunker somewhere. If we had found him he would probably have said “It’s more that my jobs worth mate”.

My friend had to pay the £50 in the end. He tried to appeal against it, but to no avail. Guess which two people are not going shopping in Hinckley ever again. In future it will be Leicester.

A friend who is a tarot card fanatic insisted on giving me a reading last night.

I picked out the cards at random and she laid them out and proceeded to read my past, present and future. I wont bore you with the past, it’s a bit gruesome. She got the present more or less right though. She said I was a boring old git, always moaning about something, poverty stricken, a drunk and one of lifes “ne’er-do-wells”. She was right about the poverty bit, but not so sure about the other things.
On the bright side she said my future was good. I was going to meet a very rich blonde nymphomanic aged about 25 with big beautiful boo … er, eyes. She would have a big expensive sports car and own a chain of public houses.

Well, she didn’t say that exactly. That’s just what I read in the cards.

I can hardly wait!