Silly headline

I saw this today in one of those adverts that try to capture your interest (and your money?) by making exaggerated claims, and entice you to at least have a look.

“People are left stunned by this New Laser Eye Surgery!”

laserHopefully the laser wasn’t in the ‘kill’ mode!
For the sake of a comma the meaning was changed.

The advert then went on to claim “Pioneering Laser Eye Surgery Storming the UK”. Well, that’s a change from “sweeping the UK”!

I don’t claim to be a member of the Word Police, or a nerd about the correct use of English, but I do try to keep to the well trodden path of understandable English. Know wot i mean innit?

“Grammar is the agreed upon rules of a language, spoken or otherwise. Without it, we would all sound like neanderthals. Apologies to all you neanderthals out there but there is a reason why grammar came into existence” – Zachary Brenner

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

To see, or not to see – 2

man-lookingI originally posted this on my old blog, now gone. This is an abridged version of that article because I   have noticed recently that the situation is getting worse.

Here is part of the original text:
“I have noticed recently that there is a growing trend by website designers to try to make the text on their pages virtually unreadable. By this I mean that by using very small fonts and by lightening the colour they seem to think it’s very trendy. Trying to read light grey text on a grey background or white is very frustrating, especially for people like myself who suffer with a mild form of colour blindness, and cataracts to boot!”

The whole point of writing is to convey information from one person to others, and not to show off your artistic skills.

What is wrong with black text on a white background? The newspapers have been using this ever since the Romans threw away their wax tablets and started using sharpened sticks dipped in ink and papyrus! The whole point of writing is to convey information from one person to others, and not to show off your artistic skills.
The following examples (my text) from some websites on the Internet have been reproduced here using the colours their designers decided on. The first one is acceptable, but if it was any lighter I would have great difficulty in reading it.

The original intention behind HTML was to permit academics and researchers to pass information over the WWW in a simple manner via hyperlinks. The content had a simple and basic structure without any fancy formatting. Thus, there were levels of headings, paragraph tags, simple list and blockquote tags.


This one I cannot decipher at all, and I would give up on it without even trying to read it.

The original intention behind HTML was to permit academics and researchers to pass information over the WWW in a simple manner via hyperlinks. The content had a simple and basic structure without any fancy formatting. Thus, there were levels of headings, paragraph tags, simple list and blockquote tags.


Here’s another example I came across. Remember, these are genuine, I’ve just changed the text otherwise you might recognise the site they came from.

The original intention behind HTML was to permit academics and researchers to pass information over the WWW in a simple manner via hyperlinks. The content had a simple and basic structure without any fancy formatting. Thus, there were levels of headings, paragraph tags, simple list and blockquote tags.



Posted in Just saying. . . ., Unbelievable | 3 Comments

Free Market Austerity

Last year it was revealed that the richest people in the UK had over doubled their wealth since 2009 austerityduring the Tories enforced and ongoing austerity programme.

Compare that with the report released today that found 6 million UK families were in fact worse off than they were 10 years ago…

It’s pretty obvious looking at these facts who the long term economic plan was geared towards helping…

It certainly wasn’t you or me.

This is Free market economics in a nutshell – fleece the poor to feed the insatiable greed of the rich – we really hope one day this becomes obvious to everyone because it is the truth.

Posted in Criminals, Rant, The truth | 1 Comment


I have an ongoing dispute with UPS at the moment about their refusal to deliver a package after only one attempt. I had a note put in my post box that it was returned to the depot where I can collect it. For various reason there is no way I can get there to collect it. I paid the carriage fee on that parcel to be delivered to my home, so why should I have to collect it myself?

This morning I received an email and at the bottom it stating “© 2016 United Parcel Service of America, Inc. UPS, the UPS brandmark, and the colour brown are trademarks of United Parcel Service of America, Inc. All rights reserved”.

How is it possible to copyright a colour? I agree with the brandmark, but not the color brown. If this is the case then I shall copyright the colour green just for myself! So be warned, any site using green may face court action, and the firing squad!

Posted in Depressing, Unbelievable | 3 Comments


scorpionsNo, I dont mean the blightersscorpions6 on the left, I mean the little blighters on the right, the ones with the bad attitude and nasty tempers. Oh, I dunno, they are both probably the same in that respect. Here’s a little tip I picked up on my travels around the known world that will help to keep them out of your house. The real scorpions I mean.

Apparently they can’t stand the smell of lavender. When you open a window to let the warm balmy air of our lovely summers evenings in always place some lavender stalks, seeds or flowers along the window shelf and the scorpions wont cross them.

I use a long shallow box the width of the window that I made and keep the lavender in that. I have been doing this for years and I can honestly say I have never had so much as one scorpion in the bedroom. If that isn’t proof that it works, I don’t know what is!

Come to think of it, I haven’t seen any scorpions outside either. Just shows how effective the lavender is!


Posted in 'Elf and Safety, From my Journal archives, Unbelievable | 2 Comments

Where am I?

map01At the bottom of the right bar there is a counter which also
   shows my location.

Today it says Leicester, England, which is correct. Yesterday I discovered I was in Nuneaton. This week I have also been located in Swadlincote, Aberdeen, Derby and Nottingham!

I sure get around a bit don’t I? I’m waiting for the day when my location shows Cedarville then I can call on a friend who lives there for a coffee, cookie and chat! Who needs a TARDIS anyway?

Police Officer: “Hello, hello, what’s going on here then?”
Me: “I swear I haven’t moved from Leicester at all, and that’s the God’s honest troof guv!”

Posted in General, Just saying. . . . | 1 Comment

Quickie Salad

salad-05Looking in the fridge for a chocolate mousse that I knew was in there somewhere, I noticed that some of the fresh stuff was not looking as fresh as it should be. I fetched out all the sad looking salad ingredients and made up a meal for supper.

Wrinkled red, yellow and orange sweet peppers, watery cucumber, soft radish, two old eggs (floaters!), the last two slices of beetroot in the jar, some stale Branston pickle, and I scraped the blue mould off the last bit of Cheddar cheese. Oh yes, and some bits of ham from the cat’s food box went in as well. Then I poured some vinaigrette over it. The lettuce was like a limp rag, I couldn’t use it so I threw it out.

I de-seeded the wrinkled tomatoes and arranged them on a plate with some chopped onion and fresh parsley, and a dash of vinaigrette went over that as well.

I’m off into town tomorrow to get a load of fresh ingredients to re-stock the salad box.


Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Where did the railings go?

This vault is the final resting place place of three brothers who were killed in World War I. Two were killed in the Battle of the Somme, France, in 1916. The younger brother was killed on the Western Front around Ypres, in western Belgium, during October and November 1914. The youngest was only18, and the others were 19 and 20. The tomb was built by public subscription, but unfortunately it was built from a soft stone, Consequently the details are barely readable now due to erosion by the elements.
If you look closely you will see the remains of the iron railings that were placed around the tomb, probably just to emphasise it’s importance, or to deter vandals.

removing-railingsDuring World War II there was a chronic shortage of iron to make the steel from which guns, tanks, bombs and other nasty weapons of war were manufactured, so the Government issued an edict that everybody must surrender their ornamental ironwork i.e., fencing and gates etc., but not essential items used for security. Cell bars at the the local prison? The workmen who came round with oxy-acetylene cutters and big sledge hammers and took every iron gate and railing in sight, mainly from the working and middle class areas, I have heard told, and even from church yards! The proof is in the first picture. I was also told that some of the workmen were disillusioned German POW’s on day-release! Didn’t they realise that these railings were meant for making bombs and bullets to be used against their families and friends in Germany?

Many thanks to ‘Old Jim’ down at the local pub for most of the information above. It only cost me two pints!


Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

So true.

old-ladyI have seen this many times on Facebook and it is so true, I think it deserves another airing. I don’t think this conversation actually took place at the checkout, it was written later, probably inspired by the checkout girls remark, which is the sort of remark I would expect from somebody who only sees things through modern day eyes.

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the much older lady that she should bring her own grocery bags, because plastic bags are not good for the environment.
The woman apologized to the young girl and explained, “We didn’t have this ‘green thing’ back in my earlier days.”

The young clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations.”


The older lady said that she was right — our generation didn’t have the “green thing” in its day. The older lady went on to explain:

“Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn’t have the “green thing” back in our day.

Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things. Most memorable besides household garbage bags was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our school books. This was to ensure that public property (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags. But, too bad we didn’t do the “green thing” back then.
We walked up stairs because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

But she was right. We didn’t have the “green thing” in our day.

Back then we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts. Wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

But that young lady is right; we didn’t have the “green thing” back in our day.
Back then we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she’s right; we didn’t have the “green thing” back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blade in a r azor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn’t have the “green thing” back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service in the family’s $45,000 SUV or van, which cost what a whole house did before the”green thing.” We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

But isn’t it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the “green thing” back then?

Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart ass young person.

We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off… Especially from a tattooed, multiple pierced smartass who can’t work out the change without the cash register telling them how much”.


Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Spam,spam,spam. . . .

junkmailThe snail-mail spam is getting worse, much worse since the commercial firms found out that that I’m handicapped with arthritis, and they assume gulliblitis. I’ve made no secret of it on my Facebook page (now gone). I can’t think where else they get the info from.

The Council collect paper every two weeks, so I just leave the junk-mail behind the door, then on collection day I sort through it and throw it in the wheelie-bin.

One morning I found an official looking letter in a plain white envelope with no gaudily printed words like “Open NOW!“, or “Special Offer!” among the usual pile of junk-mail on the doormat. In fact it looked more like the the usual local Council’s “. . pay your council tax IMMEDIATELY or you will be sent to prison!” type of letter that I usually get, but I had already paid this month so could it be a rebate? I thought “Wow, the bastards have finally decided to help me out of my poverty”.
leaflets I tore it open only to find a brightly coloured letter with loads of print and pictures, showing Old Age Pensioners smiling happily and posing by their new central heating boilers, cookers and the like.

I won’t bore you with the all the details but it all boiled down to “You MAY be entitled to a Gov Grant, you COULD get as much as £3,000. Send us all your personal details together with loads of money and we will investigate your case to see which grants you MAY qualify for”.  IF is half of LIFE, – I should be so lucky!

Now isn’t that nice of them? Along comes some complete strangers who are so concerned about my financial position that they feel compelled to go out of their way to help a poor old age pensioner. I find that very touching, but they are not touching my wallet, that’s for sure.

The leaflets on the right are typical of the many telling me all about their wonderful products, that would help me in my crippled life, but no prices are mentioned. In order to find out I am instructed to visit their websites register my name, address, email, sex (?), mobile and landline numbers, a secret password (and what I had for dinner last night?). If I do all this and then decide that the goodies they are peddling are too expensive or not of any use to me no doubt I shall be bombarded by spam for the rest of my miserable life!

One leaflet about buying life insurance stated in a big red Arial font that “YOU COULD DIE TODAY!“, and “What would your family do then without your income?” (Bury me?).


Posted in Junk, Spam, Unbelievable | 2 Comments