Let's end this year with a bloody good gripe; not that I usually moan about anything. Well, not much anyway. OK, so I moan a lot! Satisfied?


What's this country coming to when you see signs like the one on the left? I thought I lived in England, but it seems that we are fast becoming a backwater of Poland.

The sign is obviously a warning of some sort, and I just didn't happen to have a Polish dictionary in the car. I know, that's very remiss of me, I should have been prepared. For all I know it could say "There's a big hole in the bridge", "Drive carefully, unexploded WWII bomb in the hedge", or even "Good looking polish girl seeks man friend for cosy nights in".

How stupid! They could at least have stuck a hastily scribbled English translation on a sheet of A4 and stuck it over the green sign!


When driving in the 'Land of Incessant Rain' (Welsh Cymru) I did notice that they have the courtesy of providing an English translation on their signs.

My ex-wife once commented that the languages were the wrong way round, the English should be at the top and the Welsh at the bottom. I reminded her that we were in Wales (sometimes known as Cymru) and it was right and proper that the signs should display the Welsh at the top; after all, it is their country and their language. It's a pity that the English Council who put that Polish only sign there didn't remember that this is ENGLAND!

While I'm on the subject of languages I did read on t'internet a while back that some schools 'oop north' were dropping French and German classes in favour of Urdu, Gujarati, and Hindi because they say that the asian languages will be more use to future generations in order aid intergration between the different cultures. I've got a better idea. Why not teach all the incomers English? After all this is our land. As the old saying goes, "When in Rome do as the Romans do".

And now I read that the school authorities are having second thoughts. They want east european languages taught as well! I'm all for a common language, it would create a greater understanding between nations. Whatever happened to Esperanto. This language was created by using bits of all other languages. It seemed a great idea at the time, but it seems to have died a death now.

"Yr Hwylfan" looks as if it could be interesting. Maybe there are good looking welsh girls looking for a fun man? Someone like me perhaps?

WHAT is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?—
. . . . . . .

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

(To read the full text of this poem by W. H. Davies go here.)

Nowadays you could be breaking the law if you stand and stare in a public place.

Just to stand and gaze around you is enough to arouse the suspicions of a policeman. If you don't "move along" then you could be arrested for "causing an obstruction" in the street if it very busy, or the more serious charge of "loitering with intent". Intent to what? Sell drugs? Casing a bank or shop? Looking at the children in the school playground? Looking for a potential victim to mug? The list is endless.

If you try to protest or argue your case when confronted by Mr Plod then another charge of "resisting arrest" and "obstructing a police officer in the execution of his duty" could be added to the list.

Lets face it, you would be making things worse for yourself and finish up behind bars!

So just keep moving.

Well, I’ve got to admit that I have failed miserably. No, not in life, but in designing a better version of my blogpage.

I just cannot seem to find a better looking page than the existing one. Let’s face it; it is pretty good isn’t it? How can one improve on perfection? I have to confess that I am a genius.

Of course I could have pinched a copy of someone else’s template or grabbed one of the freebie ones on the net. I dont really like doing that because I feel that it is cheating in a way. I think I would be a bit miffed if people copied my ideas without permission. It's OK to use the "free" templates providing you leave a credit to them, but it's so easy to delete them and claim credit for the design yourself. Anyway, I just couldn’t find one as good as my present one!

I could make one of those all singing and dancing pages, with flashing icons, heavy rock music playing in the background and animated cartoon characters leaping all over the screen that seem so popular nowadays on Facebook (Groo!) and Myspace (Peuk!). I decided not to.

Blogs and journals are meant to convey information and not for the owner to show off their somewhat dubious skills in programming, and so they should be kept relatively simple. Animations and “leaping about flashing pictures” are for stupid adverts in order to attract the attention of simple-minded punters in order to bleed money out of them!

A recent article by PI Pat reminded me of an item of news I saw in the "Mail on Sunday":

"Schools are dropping controversial subjects from history lessons - such as the Holocaust and the Crusades - because teachers do not want to cause offence, Government research has found.

The way the slave trade is taught can lead white children - as well as black pupils - to feel alienated, according to the study by the Historical Association. And a lack of factual knowledge among teachers, particularly in primary schools, is leading to 'shallow' lessons on emotive and difficult subjects.

Some teachers have even dropped the Holocaust completely from lessons over fears that Muslim pupils might express anti-Semitic reactions in class. And one school avoided teaching the Crusades because its ‘balanced'’ handling of the topic would directly contradict what was taught in local mosques.

So does this mean that Richard I's efforts were all in vain, and all references to him and the Crusaders is to be swept under the carpet and forgotten? Does it mean that the death of over 6 million Jews is also to be wiped from history?

By stark contrast to the previous post is "The Baron" pub in Hinckley.

A few weeks ago my friend Joan and I were in Long Eaton visiting my daughter one Sunday. Susan and her husband took us to a Wetherspoons pub for Sunday Lunch. We were very impressed with the quality of the food and the service we received.

On leaving after an enjoyable lunch we noticed a sign saying "Book early for a Christmas lunch to avoid disappointment" with a nice picture of a traditional Christmas Dinner. We thought that rather than travel 30 miles back to this pub we would ask if the same offer was available at our local Wetherspoons pub, being in the same chain of pubs.

The next day we visited "The Baron" and they assured it was the same offer, so we booked for it today at 3pm, looking forward to a great meal. Wrong!

We turned up at the appointed time only to find that the girl serving wasn't sure of anything and went off to check with someone else. The first thing I noticed that it was very cold in the dining area, and there was a distinct lack of other people having a meal; in fact only two other couples.

The tables were not laid out for meals of any kind, even though they should have been expecting us. After a while another girl appeared and laid what looked like christmas wrapping paper over the table, put two unchristmas looking paper knapkins and knives and forks on the table with two cheapo crackers, that as it turned out only had a crappy joke and a paper hat inside. She went away saying that our dinners were being "cooked".

We were not offered a starter or wine list, nor did we get the chance of a sweet (Christmas Pudding?) afterwards.

The main, and only course, arrived about twenty minutes later. It had obviously been microwaved because the gravy boat and the pot of cranberry sauce were ON the plate and both the gravy and the sauce were piping hot to the extent that the cranberry sauce appeared to be dried and encrusted to the edge of the pot!

The turkey, if that's what it was, was firmly stuck to the plate; and the yorkshire pudding was like a biscuit.

After the meal we sat and waited to be asked if we would like a sweet or pudding, or presented with the sweet menu, but nothing happened. In fact we didn't see any serving staff at all. After a wait of some twenty minutes we decided to pay and go, and as we left the table two members of staff suddenly appeared out of nowhere and proceeded to strip and clean off the table!

I have mentally graded the pub as follows:

Comfort:	1 point, because it was very cold in there.
Staff attention:	0 points, no-one asked if everything was to our satisfaction.
Quality of food:	2 points, it was just about edible.
Quality of beer:	14 points, it was only slighty warm.
Total:	17points, out of a possible 100 !

FOOTNOTE: At least my mothers gravy used to move about, although it was a bit disconcerting when the pygmies came over from Borneo just to dip the tips of their arrows in it!

    |  Please read this before you comment.

Last night at my local pub, the "Dog and Gun" mine hosts, Tracy and Barry, organised a Christmas Dinner for the local Senior Citizens.

This is an annual event and is always a good night out. It is funded with money raised throughout the previous year by raffles, donations and a harvest festival sale in September. People donate produce from their gardens and allotments to be auctioned off in the pub, and the money raised is used to provide a really good Christmas meal plus presents for the old 'uns.

Being an old git myself I was there. As you can see from the photo the pub was decorated very tastefully for Christmas with oodles of fairy lights everywhere! The tables were laid out in two of the rooms to cater for the large number of guests.

The main meal was turkey (what else?) with the usual brussel sprouts, stuffing, roast potatoes and other veg. It was very tasty, cooked to perfection as always. It was followed by Christmas pudding and mince pies. Throughout the dinner the helpers wandered amongst the tables with bottles of wine topping up the glasses. I forgot how many times mine was "topped up" but I must admit I began to feel a bit pissed towards the end of the meal. Afterwards we were all given an envelope with money in it, and a present. The evening was rounded off with entertainment by a local singer, Martin.

All in all, it was a very enjoyable evening spent with my friends in the best pub in the town.

Yup, thats me on the right with "Monty". Lets face it, that very expensive cell-phone of John G's has got a really crappy camera in it. It makes me look all "fuzzy" and doesn't show up the highlights in my hair properly. Either that or his hand was shaking on account of the vast amount of alcohol he had consumed that day!

Onwards and upwards. I suppose a lot of you are wondering why I keep changing my mastheads/headers but just don't have the nerve to ask me. Well, I'll tell you, I know that I'm brilliant and it's not just because I want to show off my amazing skills and dexterity with PhotoShop, and various other programs. It's because so many people have recognised my superior talents with computers and my modesty at trying to conceal this fact, and they come to my door (with it's magnificent stained glass windows designed and built by me) begging and pleading with me to design webpages, banners, and other difficult projects that they can't manage and that I can do with great ease.

So I use my blog and other pages as a sort of "testbed" to try out various techniques before I pass on the projects. Sometimes people are so pleased and grateful that they take me out to dinner and force money into my hand *hint*.

I am currently redesigning this Blog page into a Journal where, unlike my old Blog, I can have a good moan at life and things connected with it. Another feature is that there will be a "comment filter" insomuch that if it detects incoming comments with the words "rubbish, junk, crap, shite, terrible, nonsense. . ." etc., the comments concerned will be deleted automatically. If however the comments include "brillaint, I agree with you, super, wish I had thought of that, talented, inspired, gifted. . ." etc., they will be printed in the column in a bold font.

I have seen some misuses of our national flag in my time but I think this one is the second most revolting one I have even seen. The worst example I ever saw was multipacks of toilet paper with the union flag printed on every leaf, but that's another story.

The words on the door are mine, just to emphasise how seriously I take the matter.

This particular piece of nasty unpatriotic merchandise is on sale at "The Contemporary Home" and if you would like to puchase one to grace your front entrance then it will set you back £14.99 ! They describe it as "For the truly patriotic amongst us, what better way to welcome guests over your threshold than with this great Union Jack doormat? Up the Brits, we say!!" and I say to them "Up yours!" The only redeeming fact is that it is made the right way up, with the broad white band in the top left hand corner.

I put this doormat in the same category as I put union jack underpants, knickers, bathtowels and snot-rags. Fucking disgusting! They just bring the Union flag into disrepute, and make us the laughing stock in other countries; many of whom have laws about the misuse of their national flags.

Here the general public seems to think it's funny to wipe your feet on the flag, wipe your arse on it, and blow your nose into it.

Why am I disgusted you ask? I will tell you why. I was in the army and we were taught to respect our flag at all times. It was raised at sunrise, and taken down at sunset (Traditional, to prevent our enemies for stealing it under cover of darkness). Never under any circumstances was it allowed to touch the ground. The only exceptions to that rule was to salute the monarch, or to salute the war dead. I lost a nephew and a friend in the Falklands.

Think about the picture on the left. That poor devil won't be coming home and wipe the mud of the Falklands battlefields off his boots on any doormat.

Anyway, what's wrong with a doormat that says "Welcome"?. . . Or as at my house, "Piss Off!" That's the end of this weeks rant. May your Gods be with you.

Many years ago when I was pimply faced youth (teenagers hadn’t been invented then) I fell head over heels in love with a smashing looking girl. Of course this was long before I realised that I needed glasses; nevertheless I was over the moon.

After several dates I took her home to meet my parents and we announced that we were going to get married.

At this point my father took me to one side and said that I couldn’t marry her because she was my half sister and that he had had carnal knowledge of her mother. I was shocked at this, because I had never realised that my own father was some sort of sex freak! I, and my mother, always thought that he worked late at the abattoir most nights.

I must admit I was disappointed to such an extent that I went out and found myself another love. I thought that this was the real, real thing this time, so after several dates I again took her home to meet the family and we announced our intention to get married.

Yet again my father took me to one side and said “Son, you can’t marry her because she is your half sister as well”. I was devastated. I took off the next day and joined the Army.

Several years later, when my father has passed on and gone to reap his reward in hell, I told my mother what my father had said and how I had missed the chance to be happy with the women of my dreams.

“Take no notice of what he said” she replied, “He wasn’t your Dad anyway!”

On Thursday 13 November the Indian Government test fired their new K-15 Ballistic Missile, which is capable of being launched from any one of their fleet of nuclear submarines.

Earlier this year Gordon Brown gave £825,000,000 in foreign aid of this country’s' taxpayers money to India. I suppose this money was to help the poor and sick of India. Well it has certainly helped the sick Government of India to develop a nuclear tipped accurate guided missile capable of hitting its target to within a few centimeters!

Surfing the net about India I see that the poorest people there are still starving and living in shanty towns. Children dying every day through inadequate medical care and lack of food. So why does our stupid Government send their greedy Government loads of money? Can some explain this to me? Perhaps I'm missing something?

If the money was being used for the purpose intended then I wouldn't have a problem. After all they need it more than the people of this rich country who daily have their houses re-possessed, are refused medical treatment, the elderly dying of hyperthermia in the winter, and homeless people living in shop doorways. Not forgetting the young couples who cannot afford a home of their own because of the high taxes, high interest rates, and low wages combined with the rapidly rising cost of living.

We know that the money wasn't wasted. It's heartwarming to know that India can now destroy it's neighbours at will, and they can nuke us if we stop giving them money, and we deserve it; we paid for the missiles and the submarines at the expense of our own poorest people.

To read more about the poverty in India and see some pictures go to Seabees' page.

A friend who has frequently commented on my page has now started his own blog after much persuasion from me. Please pay him a visit just here. There is always room for another Grumpy.

His latest post is about amateur radio which used to be a passion of mine, but not so much now that I’ve got the Internet. In those far off days when there was no internet many people relied on the radio amateur network for communicating with like minded people around the world.

We had, or should I say have, our own form of “internet” inasmuch we can exchange data and programs via a network of ‘repeater stations’ situated on hilltops around the country. I suppose you can liken then to the present day servers on the internet. I use a method call “Packet” where information is transmitted in short bursts, hence the name ‘packet’.

I won’t dwell on the subject, so visit Kevin in Salford and read a bit more about it, and leave him a nice comment.

The picture shows my present pathetic amateur radio station.

A few nights ago some moron, obviously minus a large quantity of brain cells and lacking in the social responsibility department, dumped a load of domestic refuse by the lockup garages near my home. No doubt he felt that his contribution to the environment enhanced the bags of hardened plaster, builders waste and old furniture already tastefully placed around the area by fellow morons from his tribe.

Because these garages are out of sight of the houses and the road and are Council owned the local council now have the job of clearing up this mess at great expense, for which the bill ultimately falls on the taxpayer, except for the fact that they don't appear to be clearing the rubbish up at present!

It's at times like this that I sometimes wonder if these low-lifers who jettison their rubbish so freely in our towns and countryside ever stop to think what the consequences of their actions will have on the environment and the animal life.

What will happen when the countryside and surburbs are full?

Where on earth are their children and their grandchildren going to dump their rubbish then?

Soon we will probably be seeing notices like the one on the right.

Help! My "Print Artist" disc has been accidently destroyed and a replacement is no longer available. I have used search engines but to no avail! It would appear that the company that produced it is no more. I did have a backup copy but, as per bloody usual, that has gone missing! I have tried eBay and Amazon; nothing! So if some nice kind person out there in Bloggyland has one they no longer use (I believe it only works in Win 98E and Millenium) I would appreciate it. I used mine a lot for my work in graphics, but since my last computer crash I can't reload it. I used it in my Win 98E "stand-alone" computer. So if you know the whereabouts of Disc 1 (the actual program) I will be forever in your debt.