Left: The Welsh Mountains.

Right: The two lambs.

Once upon a time there were two little lambs called Bernie and Tim and they lived on a farm in the beautiful Welsh mountains. Every day was a delight to them, they skipped and jumped and bleated their delight in just being alive and living in such lovely surroundings.

Unfortunately for them their joy wouldn't last for very long as there was an Englishman from Earl Shilton in Leicestershire who owned a caravan in the vicinity and was always on the lookout to make a bit of money buying and selling, and this included prime lambs!

Thus it was one day this man, we will call him Bernard, was walking through the fields where Bernie and Tim, the two little lambs were playing. Although they were unaware of it Bernard had spotted them and decided that he would make the farmer an offer for them that he couldn't refuse and have then butchered ready for the freezer. This is how the sorry saga of the lost lambs of Earl Shilton came about:

Having removed these two lovely and happy little lambs from their idyllic environment in the beautiful mountains of Wales, convinced them that he was taking them for a ride in his car, when in reality it was to the abbatoir to have then killed and made ready for the oven.

The dastardly deed completed Bernard packed the carcases into his car and started off for home thinking of the cash he would receive from the sale of little Bernie and Tim.

Unfortunately when he arrived home and went to put the lambs in his freezer he discovered there was no room for them, so straight away he drives up to his local, the Dog and Gun, and asks the landlord, Baz, if he could keep them in his freezer until a buyer could be found. "Sorry", said Baz, "but I'm all stocked up" and indeed there was no room at the inn. However Baz had a plan, "I know someone who'll help" he exclaimed, "Raymond has two freezers and I do believe he only keeps blackberries and raspberries in them, I'm sure he'd help".

"But I don't really know him", demurred Bernard. "Don't worry I'll ask him", answered Baz.

This how the two little lambs left their home in Wales and went to reside in Mill Lane in Earl Shilton for six months. Bernard had forgotten all about them, you could say that he had deserted them to carry on with his rambling.

It was sometime later in the year that Baz, Ted and Raymond were talking and the subject of lamb came up. "Don't talk to me about lambs", exploded Raymond, "I've got two down home which don't belong to me, I'm sick and tired of Bernard and the Hinckley Ramblers, I going home and turning them out into the street". "You wouldn't do that!" exclaimed Baz. "I'm serious," retorted Raymond "Out they go".

With that he stormed out the of the pub pursued by Ann, who pleaded with him not to turn the poor lambs out into the street at that time of night, but Ray was adamant and started off for home.

"Do you think he's serious?" asked Geoff, "No" chorused Baz and Ted but Ann was of a different opinion, "I'm sure he means it, we had better go and check".

And so it was that at 1:30am Ann, Wendy, Baz, Geoff and Ted wended their way to Mill Lane discussing the preceding events. As they approached Raymonds house they could indeed see that he had indeed turned out those two little lambs, they were huddled together in four plastic bags close to the garden wall for security.

 Now the lamb rescue went into action, the poor creatures were picked up and carried to a safe refuge, not altogether so neither that nasty Bernard or the thoughtless Raymond could mistreat them again.

The last word goes to Wendy, a vegetarian, who says "How could anyone take two little lambs from their green field to a distant place, only to leave them in the company of someone who turns them out into the street at night? They were absolutely frozen stiff, so if anyone would like to knit them a woolly jumper each I would be most pleased to accept them".

Help!

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To listen to further tales from the trypewriter of Ted, which include such gripping yarns as:

"The Oak and the Ash" (already a major story just here).
"On the trail of the Lonesome Pine"
"The Pinkhole"
"Albert and the Lion"
"The Old Triangle"
"The Legend of Baron von Silberstein"
"The Book"
"Beacon Hill Walk "
"John O'Dreams "
"A Great Day Out"

then click here.