Friday, August 28, 2009

Home again.

Just in case you hadn't noticed, I'm back from my continental travels with nothing to show for it except an empty wallet!

Ever since my old cat Sooty died the house has seemed very empty and quiet. No more being woken at the crack of dawn with "Meow, meow", roughly translated means "follow me to the kitchen and feed me". No more shredded funiture, wallpaper or carpets.

But now things have changed. Meet Dinky, the new cat in my life! When I returned home there he was sitting on the doorstep; wet, tired, dirty and hungry (or so he would have me believe).

I don't know where he/she (I haven't inspected the under-carriage yet!) came from, but he/she has decided to move into my house. Dinky, that's the name I've given him/her, has kindly consented to let me stay on as his/her servant. Without pay, naturally, to attend to his/her every whim. How kind!

Further news of my holiday later, when the police have cleared my report for publication.

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posted by Keith at 8:40 AM   13 comments

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Off on MY hols today!

I'm off to visit my sister Megan for a weeks holiday in Cymru today. I thought I would take advantage of the nice weather we are having at the moment, and there's not much work in the office at the moment apart from a murder case and a few divorces to deal with.

Every time I visit Megan it always rains, that's normal in that part of Wales! So lets hope the "liquid sunshine" holds off for at least another week.

I heard from Keith yesterday. Apparently he is heading towards the Belgium border now (wherever that is) and should be back in a few days time. Perhaps it's better that I disappear into the hills before he sees what I did with his blog!

Hwyl, a bod da!

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posted by Wendy Ascham at 1:09 AM   5 comments

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Postcard from Keith

Postman Pat delivered a card from Keith this morning. He is having a "whale of a good time" touring aimlessly around wasting petrol and no doubt sampling the local wines!

He looked up some old friends in Vayrac and Bretenoux and now he says that he's on his way to Sarlat to visit another "stained glass artist" (who he met several years ago when they were both restoring some church windows in Brive).

This was a few days ago so I suppose by now he is heading towards the German/French border like he says on the card. [Click on the picture for a bigger image].

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posted by Wendy Ascham at 5:15 AM   4 comments

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Shopping

Hi, Wendy here again!

The weather has been really nice today, sunny and warm. Do you think Summer has finally decided to pay us a visit?

I went into the city centre today to do some clothes shopping. I've been invited to a civic function with my boss next Saturday, and I want to make a good impression so I decided to buy something a little classier than my usual "little black dress", which has seen better days anyway!

I couldn't see anything I really liked in M&S in Winchester so I thought I might go to either Southampton or the retail park at Hedge End in the week, there's a much bigger M&S outlet there with a bigger choice of fem-wear.

On Saturdays we have various street performers in the High Street and today was very entertaining. I passed a juggler, then a group playing music from the Andes and then some girls by the Buttercross dressed in what can only be described as Hungarian (?) costume doing traditional dances around a cassette player of all things! Couldn't they afford any muscians?



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posted by Wendy Ascham at 3:37 PM   8 comments

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Keith, the wine bluff!

I just had a call from dad, Keith to you. It seems that he is the Loire Valley at the moment explaining to a local vineyard owner the correct way to grow the vines and make decent wine. I told him to let me know which hospital he is taken to so that I can send him some real wine (English!).

The last time he left me in charge of his precious blog I made a few alter ... modifications to it, and I promised I wouldn't do it this time, but I did have my fingers crossed at the time.

Now, lets see. I don't like that header for starters, I'm sure I could dream up something a bit better.

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posted by Wendy Ascham at 8:20 AM   13 comments

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Intruder Alarm

This morning I decided it was time to sort the weekly junk mail and junk leaflets from the bills and the threatening letters.

I was amazed to find a leaflet from "Victim Support" and when I read it I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. It is truly unbelievable, after my last post about how efficient the police were when I had an attempted break-in; twice!

This PRIDE alarm only costs £160 £180 (they just put the price up especially for Old Age Pensioners!) fitted. When they say fitted, they mean it's just plugged into any convenient power point, nice and easy for an intruder to switch off when he gets in.

The leaflet goes on to say that the alarm box, with siren and strobe light, is fitted on the outside of the house (clever, eh? Where else would you fit it?)

The bit I really like is:Now you know, and I know, that nobody takes a blind bit of notice when a house alarm or a car alarm goes off these days. Why? Several reasons. It seems that EVERY house and EVERY car now has a security system which can be set of by vibration, noise, a cat, in fact anything; even a spider building it's web over the infrared motion detector. So if you phone the police and it turns out to be a false alarm, assuming that the police do actually turn up of course, you could get a "telling off" for interrupting their teabreak. But if you are like me and get absolutely fed up with alarms going off sometimes several times a day, as they do in my street, you just ignore them and think someone else will call the Fuzz.

I may be dim, but I can't see how this "Pride Alarm" is of any use to anybody unless it is connected to a control centre that is manned 24/7 (as they say in the Colonies), which it is not [see the last post below].

One thing you must never ever do in Britanistan now is to go and investigate an alarm that is sounding on a house or a car. Because if the thief is still in the house or the car and you try to apprehend him and get injured, you could finish up in hospital, or lose time off work, you won't get any compensation and your insurance company will not pay for lost earnings or any treatment you might need.

They will simply say that you are not covered "because you deliberately placed yourself in danger". I know this for a fact because my half-brother once tried to tackle a yob who was attempting to rob a jewellery shop. He was knifed in the arm and spent three weeks off work. He didn't get a penny to cover his lost earnings and the shop owner never even thanked him!

As to that Pride Alarm system. You can buy a similar thing from the DIY shop near me for £99.99. I know, I bought one.

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posted by Keith at 10:24 AM   13 comments

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Intruders

This post is prompted by Helen's (lom) comment on my last post.
Twice in the last five years I have had attempted break-ins while I have been in the house. The first time I was woken up at 5am by a noise outside. I opened the bedroom window, which is just above the back door, and saw a youth in the traditional attire of jeans, hooded jacket covering a large peaked baseball cap. He was trying to prise open the door with a "jemmy".
I shouted "What the f**k are you up to?". He glanced up briefly, then the cheeky sod carried on trying to get in! I picked up a large glass vase from the window ledge and dropped it towards his head. Fortunately for him it missed and hit him on the shoulder before smashing at his feet. He took the hint and ran off, smashing down the neighbours fence.

I immediately phoned the police (the call centre is about 10 miles away, it's not possible to phone the local police station. Not manned at night). "We will send someone right away" I was assured. Five hours later, 10am, two "plastic policepersons" (Community Support Officers) turned up, looked at the damage, asked for a description of the man, spotted all the broken glass from the vase, and when I explained what I had done they warned me that if I had injured him I could have been in serious trouble! What sort of trouble could I have been in if that yob had got into the house!

The second time was about a year later and was very similar to the first attempt; in fact it could have been the same yob come back to finish the job! This time whoever it was ran off as soon as I opened the window. Again I phoned the police, but this time it was a different response, "Sorry, but we don't have anyone available at this time, but someone will be there as soon as we have someone free." No-one ever came, and after four years I don't suppose anyone will come now!

Footnote: Since then I have taken precautions to protect myself in case someone does get in while I'm at home. Lets just say that they will need hospital treatment or a body bag afterwards. It's no good relying on help from the boys in blue, in this day and age you have to look after yourself.

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posted by Keith at 2:12 AM   13 comments

Monday, August 3, 2009

The emergency services should be scrapped . . .

. . . for all the use they are nowadays in this sick, politically correct country that used to be called 'England', and as now become 'Wimpland'. Why? Just take a look at this news item. Still need convincing? Then look just here, and here.

I could go on with more sickening examples, but I think you've probably got the picture by now.

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posted by Keith at 2:31 AM   4 comments